The Inspector General Scenes for Two Actors (Gogol, Free Translation)

Your teacher has assigned Russian comedy, and somebody in class says “do the Gogol.” You and your partner find The Inspector General, which turns out to have a cast list of 25 roles, a town full of officials with long Russian names, and more than one English title. Where, in all that, is a scene for two people?

There are several, and they’re terrific comic duets. A broke young clerk and the servant who can’t stand him. A terrified official and the man he thinks has come to destroy him. A small-town girl and a city liar who moves his chair closer every time she moves hers away.

The short version: below are six two-person scenes from the play, each with the line it starts on, the line it ends on, what each character wants, how the words split, and an estimated run time, with a shorter cut where the full scene is long. Every quoted line was copied from the free Project Gutenberg text. After the scenes comes the part that matters most in Gogol: how to play farce without mugging.

Get the free translation, and agree on it

Gogol wrote in Russian, so every English script is a translation, and newer ones are still protected. The one to use for free is Thomas Seltzer’s, published in New York by Knopf in 1916 (the Internet Archive has a scan of that edition). Project Gutenberg’s eBook 3735 carries the same translation and lists it as public domain in the USA.

Our Inspector General play guide uses the Standard Ebooks edition of the same translation, which notes it is thought to be free of copyright restrictions in the United States. The words match; the typing doesn’t always. Gutenberg prints double hyphens and kind-heartedness, while our library uses long dashes and kindheartedness. Pick one with your partner before anyone learns a word, so your cues line up.

One more naming trap. Seltzer calls the town’s chief official the Governor. Other translations, and Wikipedia, call him the Mayor, and the play itself is often sold as The Government Inspector. If your teacher says “the Mayor and Khlestakov,” this is the Governor’s scene. His wife is Anna Andreyevna and his daughter is Marya Antonovna.

A note on the times

The run times below are estimates. We counted the spoken words in each scene, stage directions out, and divided by 140 words a minute, the pace our acting scripts to practice page uses. Farce needs room for laughs and physical business, so a staged run will usually be longer. For a competition, check the clock: the International Thespian Excellence Awards acting rules define a duet as a performance for two players that does not exceed five minutes.

Khlestakov and Osip: two scenes for two men

Khlestakov is a minor clerk from St. Petersburg who has gambled away his money on the road home and is stuck in a provincial inn. Osip is his servant, and the play’s own notes on the characters say Osip is the cleverer of the two and grasps a situation more quickly. Play that, and both scenes take care of themselves.

Act 2, Scene 2: the empty pouch

It starts when Khlestakov comes in, hands Osip his cap and cane, and says What, been warming the bed again! It ends on Well, go, the deuce take you. Call the landlord. In between, Khlestakov tries to order dinner, and Osip explains, with relish, that the landlord has cut them off.

OSIP: No, I won’t.

KHLESTAKOV: How dare you, you fool!

OSIP: It won’t do any good, anyhow. The landlord said he won’t let you have anything more to eat.

KHLESTAKOV: How dare he! What nonsense is this?

Source: Nikolai Gogol, The Inspector-General, translated by Thomas Seltzer, Act 2, Scene 2 (Project Gutenberg eBook 3735).

What each wants: Khlestakov wants food without admitting he can’t pay for it. Osip wants his master to face facts, and enjoys every word of the landlord’s insults he gets to repeat. About 290 words, roughly 2 minutes; Osip has about 62% of them.

Gogol’s stage directions do half the acting for you. Khlestakov’s order gets weaker each time he gives it: in a loud resolute voice, then not quite so resolute, then almost in entreaty. That’s the scene’s whole game. For a longer piece that gives Osip the floor, start with his solo in Scene 1, which opens The devil take it! I’m so hungry. Together they run about 960 words, roughly 7 minutes, but almost nine-tenths of the words are Osip’s.

Act 4, Scene 9: time to go

Two days later, the town has mistaken Khlestakov for a government inspector traveling in disguise, and the officials keep “lending” him money. He’s writing a letter to a friend to laugh about it. It starts on Now, you simpleton, you see how they receive and treat me. and ends on I’ll make a guess and send it to Pochtamtskaya Street.

What each wants: Osip wants out before the trick is found, and says it plainly: You see, they’ve taken you for somebody else, honest. Khlestakov wants one more day of being important. About 340 words, roughly 2 and a half minutes, with Osip at about two-thirds. Osip’s short speech ordering the horses is spoken outside the door, so play it from the doorway with your back half turned.

The Governor and Khlestakov at the inn: Act 2, Scene 8

This is the scene the whole plot turns on. The Governor has heard that an inspector is in town incognito and comes to the inn to find him. Khlestakov thinks the Governor has come to arrest him for his bill. The stage direction says it: They stare at each other a few moments wide-eyed and frightened.

Dobchinsky, a local landowner, is on stage the whole time and never speaks, so the scene plays as a duet. Seat a silent classmate in the corner, or, if you play it without him, cut the Governor’s phrase that names him in the second half. Bobchinsky only peeps through the door. Between the two halves, Khlestakov calls Osip in and offers Dobchinsky a chair; both cuts below skip that stretch.

The first half: the money

It starts on the Governor’s I have come to present my compliments, sir. and ends on the Governor’s aside I slipped four hundred instead of two into his hand. Khlestakov blusters out of pure fear, the Governor begs out of pure fear, and each takes the other’s panic for power. It ends with a bribe that neither of them calls a bribe:

KHLESTAKOV: Lend me some, lend me some. Then I’ll settle up immediately with the landlord. I only want two hundred rubles. Even less would do.

GOVERNOR: There’s just two hundred rubles. [Giving him the money.] Don’t bother to count it.

Source: Nikolai Gogol, The Inspector-General, translated by Thomas Seltzer, Act 2, Scene 8 (Project Gutenberg eBook 3735).

Then the Governor tells the audience how much he really paid. What each wants: the Governor wants to survive the inspection; Khlestakov wants to stay out of jail. About 660 words, roughly 4 and three-quarter minutes, and the most even split here (about 51% Governor, 49% Khlestakov). It fits a five-minute slot only if you keep the laughs short.

The second half: the invitation

It starts on the Governor’s aside I must be bolder. and ends on Khlestakov’s speech that begins I’m greatly obliged to you. I myself hate double-faced people. Now the Governor tries to flatter the truth out of a man he’s sure is lying, and every true thing Khlestakov says sounds to him like a clever fib. About 730 words, a little over 5 minutes, so trim it for a five-minute slot. The Governor has about 63%, much of it in asides. The full scene, both halves, is about 1,440 words, roughly 10 minutes.

The asides are the trap. Play each one to the audience as a real decision, not a wink. The Governor is working hard, and badly, and that is funnier than any face you can pull.

Anna and Marya at the window: Act 3, Scene 1

For two women, the play opens Act 3 with the Governor’s wife and daughter at the window, desperate for news of the inspector. It starts on Anna’s There now! We’ve been waiting a whole hour. and ends on her He won’t say a word until he is in the room. It’s short, about 210 words, so roughly 1 and a half minutes, and Anna has about 81% of the words.

The game is that Marya is right and her mother won’t have it. Marya says Dobchinsky, mamma.; Anna answers It’s not Dobchinsky at all.; Marya says It is Dobchinsky, mamma.; and Anna, a moment later, admits it and scolds Marya for arguing. What each wants: Anna wants to be the first to know and to be right; Marya wants, just once, to be listened to. Dobchinsky is outside and never heard, so Anna talks to someone the audience never hears. Use it as a warm-up, or pair it with one of the other scenes for a longer showcase.

Khlestakov with the women: Act 4, Scenes 12 and 13

By Act 4, Khlestakov is drunk on being taken seriously, and he courts both the daughter and the mother within minutes of each other.

Khlestakov and Marya: the chair

It starts on Marya’s Oh! as she walks in on him alone, and ends with Khlestakov on his knees: Forgive me, do forgive me! You see, I am on my knees. He offers her verses he can’t remember and a love he made up a minute ago; she keeps changing the subject to the weather and the birds. The center of it is a chase done sitting down:

MARYA: [moving away]. Why near? It’s all the same if it’s far away.

KHLESTAKOV: [moving nearer]. Why far? It’s all the same if it’s near.

Source: Nikolai Gogol, The Inspector-General, translated by Thomas Seltzer, Act 4, Scene 12 (Project Gutenberg eBook 3735).

What each wants: Khlestakov wants a conquest to match his new rank; Marya wants to be courted by a man from the capital, but not to be taken for a silly provincial wench. About 500 words, roughly 3 and a half minutes, with Khlestakov at about 64%. Rehearse the chairs early. The moves are the jokes, so set them exactly and repeat them the same way every time.

Khlestakov and Anna: the proposal

Anna walks in on him kneeling, sends Marya out in tears, and Khlestakov simply turns and proposes to the mother. For two actors, start on his aside She’s very appetizing, too. after Marya leaves, and end on Your hand! I pray for your hand! It’s tiny, about 160 words, roughly a minute. Anna’s answer to the kneeling is the best line in it: This floor isn’t very clean.

With three actors, run Scenes 12 and 13 together, from Marya’s Oh! to Khlestakov’s Your hand! I pray for your hand!: about 700 words, roughly 5 minutes, for a trio.

How to keep the farce truthful

The charge is as old as the play. In Seltzer’s introduction, Gogol’s critics after the 1836 premiere called it a rank farce and said The characters were mere caricatures. The same introduction says the Tsar, Nicholas I, attended the first production and is said to have remarked Everybody gets it, and I most of all. That first production was in St. Petersburg in April 1836, and the Wikipedia entry on the play notes that it took the Tsar’s personal intervention to get the play staged at all. The play laughs at a whole town of crooks, and it works because they are real people.

The Gutenberg edition prints Gogol’s own notes on the main parts, under “Directions for Actors,” before Act 1. Read them before you rehearse, because they’re a casting brief and an acting note in one:

• Khlestakov speaks and acts without stopping to think, and the notes add that the more naivete the actor brings, the better. Never let him know he’s lying. He believes every word as he says it.
• The Governor passes rapidly from fear to joy, from servility to arrogance. Find the exact line where each switch happens, and make it a full turn, not a drift.
• Osip is grave, with eyes a bit lowered, and the notes say he does not like to talk. Even in the scenes where he talks the most, play him flat and unhurried, and let his master do the flapping.
• Anna Andreyevna sometimes gets the upper hand over her husband, but only over trifles. Play her vanity as serious business.

Under all four is one rule: play what the character wants at full stakes and let the audience do the laughing. The Governor thinks he could lose everything. Khlestakov thinks he could go to jail. When both men are truly frightened, the misunderstanding is funny on its own. Our guide to learning lines for a farce covers tying each line to its move, which these chair and money scenes need, and our list of comedy scenes for two actors has more classic duets with their comic games.

Rehearse it before you meet your partner

Gogol’s duets run on short cues (Where?, Yes, sir?, But what is it?), and a late cue kills a comic rhythm faster than a forgotten line. If you learn your part without hearing the other one, you’ll be a beat behind on every reply.

In Offbook, upload the play and pick only the pages of your scene, and realistic voices read the other part, then wait for your line before cueing the next. As the video below shows, you can set how fast your partner’s voice talks and add a pause before a line, so the fast exchanges between the Governor and Khlestakov stay quick and the laugh after the money still gets its room.

To warm up without an account, our free run lines online tool rehearses classic scenes. For more two-person material from classic plays, browse the acting scripts page and the play library.

Questions actors ask

What scenes from The Inspector General work for two actors?

The strongest are the Governor and Khlestakov at the inn (Act 2, Scene 8), Khlestakov and Osip in Act 2, Scene 2 and Act 4, Scene 9, Khlestakov and Marya (Act 4, Scene 12), and, for two women, Anna and Marya at the window (Act 3, Scene 1). Khlestakov and Anna’s proposal (Act 4, Scene 13) is a one-minute coda.

Is The Government Inspector good for scene study?

Yes, especially for comedy work. Its scenes are built on misunderstanding, so they teach you to play a want at full stakes while the audience sees what you don’t. The Governor and Khlestakov scene is an exercise in two people misreading each other.

Which scene fits a five-minute limit?

By our estimate at 140 words a minute, every two-person cut here fits except the full Governor and Khlestakov scene (about 10 minutes), its second half (a little over 5), and Osip’s solo run into Act 2, Scene 2 (about 7). The longest that fit are the first half of Act 2, Scene 8 (about 4 and three-quarter minutes, so keep the laughs short) and Khlestakov and Marya (about 3 and a half).

Where can I find a free translation of The Inspector General?

Thomas Seltzer’s 1916 translation is free on Project Gutenberg (eBook 3735, titled The Inspector-General) and on Standard Ebooks. Our play guide uses the Standard Ebooks text. Newer translations are still under copyright, so buy or borrow those.

Can I rehearse these scenes on my phone?

Rehearse on your laptop with the full script on a big screen, and listen to your scenes on your phone anywhere. Hearing the other part on a walk is a good way to fix Gogol’s fast cues in your ear.