Oscar Wilde Scenes for Two Actors: Earnest, An Ideal Husband, and Lady Windermere’s Fan

Your scene-study class has a comedy unit, and your partner says “Let’s do Wilde.” You both know Lady Bracknell and the handbag. Neither of you knows where a two-person scene actually starts in Earnest, how long it runs, or what to do if you’d rather play something with a little more danger in it.

Wilde is a gift for two actors. His people talk in perfect sentences while wanting something badly, and the gap between the polish and the want is where the comedy lives. That gap is also where most student scenes fall flat: the jokes get pushed, and the want disappears.

The short version: below are eight duets from The Importance of Being Earnest, An Ideal Husband, and Lady Windermere’s Fan, each with its first and last line, what each person wants, words per part, and about how long it runs, plus a plan for learning Wilde’s quick cues. All three plays are free and in the public domain. For single speeches instead, see our Oscar Wilde monologues for auditions.

Play the want, and the wit takes care of itself

Wilde subtitled Earnest “A Trivial Comedy for Serious People,” and the second half of that matters more to an actor than the first. Director Oliver Parker, whose film of the play came out in 2002, told The Christian Science Monitor that “Playing these characters with more serious intent very often releases more humor.” His other point was simpler: in good romantic comedy there is always something at stake.

So before you look for laughs, write one sentence for each character: what they want from the other person by the end of the scene. Gwendolen wants a proposal, now. Lady Bracknell wants a suitable son-in-law. Algernon wants the last muffin. If the want is real, the epigram comes out as a weapon, not a party trick.

A note on the texts. All the lines quoted here come from the Project Gutenberg editions of Earnest, An Ideal Husband, and Lady Windermere’s Fan. Our play library uses the Standard Ebooks editions, which modernize a few spellings (“handbag” for “hand-bag”). Word counts below are spoken words only, and run times are our estimate at about 150 words a minute; brisk Wilde can run faster.

The Importance of Being Earnest: five duets

Earnest opened at the St. James’s Theatre on 14 February 1895, according to the cast page of the Gutenberg text. It gets five duets here. The full text is in our Earnest play guide. One that’s missing on purpose: Jack and Algernon’s cigarette case, which is already in our comedy scenes for two actors.

Jack proposes to Gwendolen (Act 1) — a man and a woman

Lady Bracknell has stepped out of the room, and Jack has to move fast. It starts on his Charming day it has been, Miss Fairfax. and Gwendolen’s instant reply, Pray don’t talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. It ends on her I hope you will always look at me just like that, especially when there are other people present. just before her mother returns.

Jack wants to propose before he loses his nerve. Gwendolen wants the proposal done properly, and tells him she is “fully determined to accept” him before he has asked. Gwendolen has about 490 words, Jack about 230; it runs about five minutes. The trap for Jack is playing him as a fool. He is a nervous man trying hard, and the audience should root for him.

Lady Bracknell interviews Jack (Act 1) — a man and a woman

The scene follows straight on from the proposal. It starts on You can take a seat, Mr. Worthing. and his Thank you, Lady Bracknell, I prefer standing. It ends on her exit line, Good morning, Mr. Worthing! In between come income, politics, a house on the unfashionable side of Belgrave Square, and the most famous handbag in theater.

Lady Bracknell has about 680 words, Jack about 370; it runs about seven minutes. She wants a suitable match for her only daughter, and is genuinely shocked by what she hears. Jack wants to pass. Play it as an exam, not a comedy routine. The laugh on A hand-bag? belongs to the actor who means it as a question.

LADY BRACKNELL: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

Source: Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1, Project Gutenberg edition.

Algernon proposes to Cecily (Act 2) — a man and a woman

Algernon has come to the country pretending to be Jack’s wicked brother, Ernest, and has fallen for Jack’s ward. It starts on his I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly and runs to her Couldn’t you make it twenty minutes? and his I’ll be back in no time. The surprise: she has been engaged to him for three months, and has the diary, the bangle, and the letters (which she wrote herself) to prove it.

Cecily has about 700 words, Algernon about 380, and the butler Merriman has two short lines you can cut or give to a third person; it runs about seven minutes. Cecily is the stronger part. She wants the romance she has already written, and he has to catch up. Watch her dictation business: Oh, don’t cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough.

Gwendolen and Cecily take tea (Act 2) — two women

A favorite women’s duet. It starts on Cecily’s Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew. and ends on It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing on your valuable time. just before Jack walks in. In between, two young women swear friendship, discover they are both engaged to “Ernest,” and fight it out over the sugar tongs.

Gwendolen has about 870 words, Cecily about 480, and Merriman has one line; it runs about nine minutes. The tea service is the battlefield. Here is how quickly the cues come once the gloves are off:

CECILY: Sugar?

GWENDOLEN: No, thank you. Sugar is not fashionable any more.

CECILY: Cake or bread and butter?

GWENDOLEN: Bread and butter, please. Cake is rarely seen at the best houses nowadays.

Source: Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 2, Project Gutenberg edition.

Cecily answers Gwendolen’s first line by putting four lumps of sugar in the cup, and her second by handing her cake. The two keep the polite forms even while they insult each other, which is exactly why it’s funny. Our list of two-person scenes for two women has more pairings like it.

Jack and Algernon and the muffins (Act 2) — two men

Both men have been found out, both engagements are in ruins, and Algernon is eating. It starts on Jack’s This ghastly state of things is what you call Bunburying, I suppose? and ends the act on Algernon’s I haven’t quite finished my tea yet! and there is still one muffin left. Algernon has about 530 words, Jack about 390; it runs about six minutes.

Jack wants Algernon gone. Algernon wants to stay for dinner, get christened as Ernest, and finish the muffins. The comedy is the argument over who is allowed to be calm. Keep the plate between you, and let every grab for a muffin be a real move in the fight.

An Ideal Husband: two scenes for Lord Goring

An Ideal Husband opened at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, on 3 January 1895, with Charles Hawtrey as Lord Goring, according to the Wikipedia entry on the play. It is a political thriller dressed as a comedy, and Goring, the idle dandy who turns out to be the play’s moral center, is one of Wilde’s best parts. The text is in our An Ideal Husband play guide.

Lord Goring proposes to Mabel (Act 4) — a man and a woman

Goring broke an appointment with Mabel Chiltern in the Park, and she is not going to make this easy. It starts on her People who don’t keep their appointments in the Park are horrid. and his one-word reply, Detestable. It ends on her But so am I, Arthur. So we’re sure to agree. after he confesses that he is extravagant.

Mabel has about 340 words, Goring about 160; it runs about three minutes, the shortest scene here and a good one for a class with a tight time limit. When she asks Oh! is it a proposal? he has to answer, Well, yes, it is—I am bound to say it is. Goring wants to be taken seriously for once. Mabel wants him to work for it.

Lord Goring and Mrs. Cheveley (Act 3) — a man and a woman

The great duel of the play. Mrs. Cheveley has a letter that can ruin Goring’s best friend, and she has come to Goring’s rooms at night to trade it. It starts on Good evening, Lord Goring! and, after his startled question, her Merely listening. I have a perfect passion for listening through keyholes. It ends with her parting Good-night, Lord Goring! after she has won a second, worse letter.

The full scene is long: Mrs. Cheveley has about 1,260 words, Goring about 840, about 14 minutes. For class, start on her Arthur, you are unjust to me. and run to the end: about 410 and 360 words, about five minutes, and it includes the diamond brooch that Goring clasps on her arm as a bracelet she can’t get off. Both want the letter. Play it as chess, with every move polite.

For a serious scene for two men, the opening of Act 2 pairs Goring with Sir Robert Chiltern, who confesses how he made his fortune. It starts on Goring’s My dear Robert, it’s a very awkward business, very awkward indeed. and runs to Goring’s It is always worth while asking a question, though it is not always worth while answering one. just before the butler enters: about 15 minutes in full, so cut it to the confession and Goring’s advice.

Lady Windermere’s Fan: the rescue

The earliest of the three plays opened at the St. James’s Theatre on 22 February 1892, per the cast page of the Gutenberg text. Its best duet is not funny at all, which makes it valuable for an actor who wants to show range in Wilde. The text is in our Lady Windermere’s Fan play guide.

Lady Windermere and Mrs. Erlynne (Act 3) — two women

Lady Windermere has left her husband and is waiting in Lord Darlington’s rooms. Mrs. Erlynne, the woman she believes is her husband’s mistress, arrives to send her home. What Lady Windermere doesn’t know is that Mrs. Erlynne is her mother. It starts as Mrs. Erlynne bursts in with Lady Windermere!, gets its first hard push at Don’t come near me!, and ends on Silence! I’m here to save you, if I can. as the men’s voices are heard outside.

Mrs. Erlynne has about 1,000 words, Lady Windermere about 530; it runs about ten minutes. Mrs. Erlynne wants to save her daughter without ever telling her why. Lady Windermere wants to believe the worst. The scene turns on Take me home. Take me home. If you want the solo build first, add Lady Windermere’s speech before the entrance, which starts Why doesn’t he come? This waiting is horrible.

Learn Wilde’s lines word-perfect, and the cues with them

Wilde is unforgiving about paraphrase. An epigram has a shape: a setup, a balance, and a final word that lands the joke. Change “carelessness” to “careless” and the laugh goes. So learn these scenes word for word, and learn the cue line as well as your own, because the rhythm of the exchange is half the joke.

The fastest way to make lines stick is to test yourself on them, not to reread them. A 2008 study in Science by Henry Roediger and Jeffrey Karpicke found that retrieving information from memory, rather than restudying it, is what drives long-term retention, as Washington University reported. For an actor, that means covering your line, saying it, and checking.

In Offbook, you can upload the play and play your part while realistic voices read your partner’s, waiting for your line before they cue the next. For Wilde, the useful part is pacing, shown in the video below: set how fast your scene partner talks, add a beat before a line, and turn on auto-advance, which moves the scene on after a silence of one to six seconds. Push the speed up as you get surer, and the quick cues of the tea scene will be in your body before your first real run.

Here is a plan for a duet you have about a week to prepare.

• Day one: read the whole play once, then write each character’s want in one sentence.
• Day two: mark every epigram in your part and find the word that lands each one.
• Days three and four: learn your lines in short chunks, covering each one and saying it before you check.
• Day five: run the scene with your cues read to you, at a normal pace, until you stop reaching for the page.
• Day six: run it faster than feels comfortable, then once at playing speed with all the business (tea, muffins, the brooch).
• Day seven: run it with your partner, and spend the time on the want, not the words.

To warm up for free, our run lines online tool rehearses classic scenes with no account, and the first-letter memorizer turns any speech into first-letter cues. Several of the scenes above, including the Bracknell interview and the tea scene, are on our acting scripts page. Our guide on how to prepare a scene for acting class has more on the week before you present.

Questions actors ask

What is the best Oscar Wilde scene for two women?

Gwendolen and Cecily’s tea scene in Act 2 of The Importance of Being Earnest is the classic, about nine minutes. For a dramatic contrast, Lady Windermere and Mrs. Erlynne in Act 3 of Lady Windermere’s Fan runs about ten minutes and has no jokes at all.

Is there a Wilde scene for two men?

Yes. Jack and Algernon have two: the cigarette case in Act 1 (in our comedy scenes list) and the muffins at the end of Act 2, about six minutes. For something serious, Lord Goring and Sir Robert Chiltern open Act 2 of An Ideal Husband. More pairings are in our list of two-person scenes for two men.

Which Wilde scene fits a five-minute limit?

Jack’s proposal to Gwendolen runs about five minutes, Goring’s proposal to Mabel about three, and the cut version of Goring and Mrs. Cheveley about five. Time your own run with a stopwatch, because laughs and business add time.

Do I need an English accent to play Wilde?

Ask your teacher or director first. Many classes care more that you hit the rhythm and the final word of each line than about the accent. If you use one, keep it light and consistent, and never let it slow the cues down.

Are Wilde’s plays free to use for a class scene?

Yes. Wilde died in 1900, and his plays are in the public domain, so the original texts are free to read and copy from Project Gutenberg and our play library. A modern adaptation or a new edition’s notes can still be under copyright.